I don’t know if I disclosed this, but, I live in the DFW metroplex in Texas with my gorgeous hubby (I love him) and my ferocious (but, loveable) 90-pound rescue dog, a Labrador mix named Tiger. (I love him too)
When we married and combined our major assets, that being family and friends, we decided to sell our respective houses, and start fresh with a home that would be filled with the fragrance of memories, created and colored by a new covenant. If you think it is difficult to mesh the twoness of young people, try bringing together a pair of boomers, each who had lived fulfilling, single lives for over 16 years before taking the plunge!
It was a difficult search and compromise to find a house with room for two office spaces where each of us could retire to spend quality time with ourselves, refreshed and ready to offer love (and forgiveness) to keep our marriage strong (and us sane)
So, we must have looked at over sixty plus houses. But, we always kept coming back to take a second, third and fourth look at the place we eventually purchased. The problem is that some of the very things that caused us to love this location and home have become reasons we now think about moving. We are in the midst of everything, shopping, work, nightlife, but, sadly, everything is in the midst of us. That makes for terrible traffic and people congestion. However, the issue now is that the market is so hot in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, that homes are being sold before they reach the market and often well above asking price. I know that might not seem like an issue. Yes, we can sell and get a great return on the price we originally paid, but, then in order to buy another home, we will either have to settle for a smaller home (at a premium price) or pay a premium price for a home to replace the one we already have.
This reminds me of what happens in marriages. We spend a lot of time looking, dating, living with, sometimes returning back to that particular gal/guy over and over again, because there is just something about them. You make the decision to be exclusively theirs, get the license, call your friends, and then, something happens. The very thing that pulled you to them like a magnet, repels you twice as fast! You can choose to leave this relationship to move up(you think) but, you will have to pay a premium price. Or, you may find that you ended up downsizing and must now deal with a package that was/is less worth (to you) that what you originally had.
Boomer wisdom advises you to consider the state of the Market. When you purchase a home, the market rate is dependent on the value of homes surrounding the one you want as well as the appraisal evaluation and how bad your desire is for it. Once you have invested the thousands of dollars to get your dream home, you don’t bail out when you see tiny cracks over the interior doors, or the plumbing springs a leak. You call in someone who can repair the defects (sometimes a painful process), but, continue to live in and enjoy your home. Why? Because you know the value based on the Market.
An investment in a marriage that has a crack here and there and has even sprung a few leaks is well worth it. A good marriage provides wellness benefits that a single life can not. No marriage is made good without effort. And, sometimes, the effort has to be bolstered with the help of a specialist. And, there may be pain. But, in the end, the cracks will be non-existent and your covenant relationship will be all you remembered it to be from the beginning.
Boomer wisdom says to realize the market value of your marriage and take precautions to protect its worth. Bailing out is costly and tricky. You can never tell in what direction the Market will move on new investments. I pray that you will be a good steward of your marriage, doing everything you can to keep it healthy and providing dividends all the days of your life.
Blessings to you all and may you enjoy anniversaries that increase in love and fidelity year after year after year!