My Mother died a little over four weeks ago. She was 85 years old with a mind like a steel trap. If I called and asked for someones’ number she could usually recite it off the top of her head. The only number I can recall similarly is that of my own cell phone digits.
For someone her age she was in pretty good shape. I often said I would sit down and fill in the gaps of the history of her life on a planned extended visit to see her. Yet, when in her presence, I became her oldest daughter, full of the many mundane tasks that daughters normally take on. We spent time laughing and confiding and debating and reminiscing, but, the work of getting her life from her memories to paper (rather than my head) never quite materialized.
There were significant milestones that she entrusted to me that she will never see happen. Although, I will continue to work on them, the fruition of those things can never occur without the pain I will feel that they were not accomplished during her lifetime.
The problem is that in the living of this life, we tend to put off things we feel can wait until tomorrow. And that is where the regret of what we chose over what we desired can literally crush us. It isn’t that the choices were bad or hurtful or inappropriate. It is simply that we can’t do everything, only some things. And, those “some things” better be the “best things” if you want to have peace.
What I am suggesting is that if the choice before you is people versus purse, choose people. Family versus fame, chose family. Service versus servitude, choose service. And, once you have made the choice, follow up with actions that support it.
You see, we think we have time. Time to tie in all the loose ends when we are ready to do so. Time to spend time with those we love, after we finish doing all that other stuff on our plates that is seemingly so very significant. And sadly, we forget that those those we love have a limited supply of days allotted to them.
Boomer wisdom would remind you that the problem with the belief that we have time, is that it can be so very false. Give all you have to those you love today. Make time with them a priority and a priority again and again. You won’t regret not one second of that time. I guarantee you. I didn’t. In hindsight, what I do regret is not clearing my schedule to add more minutes to our time when time was available. Because I was counting on time that I thought we still had. In the future. A false supposition.
Blessings to you all!
In loving memory. My Mother, Catherine Hall Williams. 12/12/34 – 6/22/2020